Business, Personal + Finance

Saturday, September 12, 2009

REALITY gave me a slap on the face – part 3

Saturday, September 12, 2009 Posted by vernon go , , ,

I AM ONLY HUMAN

The collection of emotions that I felt on that day…

DISAPPOINTMENT

I was very disappointment with my effort and leadership as a whole. It’s as if along the journey I lost myself like I was exiled or kidnapped without even knowing I was kidnapped or exiled. I have no right to call myself a leader, despite all the “S” & leadership trainings. If I am unable to lead myself properly, what right to I have to lead others? I realized how pathetically lacking I was. ~Mada ~Mada Da ne (I still have lots to work/learn on)

COMPLACENCY

The sad reality of my life..too nice, too complacent, too carefree; I do not want to be too complacent on things and believing everything will be alright without putting any action or input on it. I still believe that everything will be alright but I have to work my ass off in order for me to deserve it. It is my decisions, not my conditions that shall determine my future and ultimately my destiny.

BONDS

Bonds is what keeps you going (Sounds cheesy just like in naruto) but its effect is far more and beyond than I can ever imagine. When you take away everything insignificant, the bond of deep friendship between people is really what makes life truly meaningful. When people think their life is over, almost everyone has the same thought. It's not about money or problems or who is right and who is wrong; it's not about politics or philosophy. All is stripped away except the single most important value, the one that made this trip worth the trouble.

To sum it up, this is what I would’ve wanted:
1. Work together for a purpose. (At first we did this but somewhere somehow I dunno what happened)
2. Believe in your comrade. (Easier said than done, you cannot just believe in a person’s abilities but more on the character and attitude)
3. Be loyal. (There are limits for this, if you are to be loyal one must give full 100% not just being forced to do something or being “Na-ikog nalang”)
4. Fulfill their trust. (Together Everyone Achieves More!)
5. Speak the truth. (I thought transparency was only for politics, I was wrong)
6. Happily make sacrifices for your comrade. (I’d trade commitment & attitude over brains & abilities anyday)

SUPPORT SYSTEM

The more, the merrier. The more support you have the better. A journey will always take a toll on you and you must have people whom you know will be there, who will give you & offer an extra mile to help you without thought for in the end, even if you fail or lose they will be there to cheer you up. I was never a seeker of personal glory, but rather a seeker for a glory that is shared.

ENVY

I am human, no matter how much I try to control my emotions I still feel. It cannot be denied that I was jealous during the Awards ceremony. I believe all of us had the potential to win something but despite that, the leadership was not enough, teamwork has disappeared, and most especially I was envious of the support system which was repeatedly displayed in which I really longed for.

SADNESS

How sad that I was unable to display and take advantage of my full potential. How sad that I could’ve done more, made more bonds and all the other what ifs scenario. I believe this is a good sign of being alive, sadness. It re-assures one’s humanity and awakens the slumbering potential within. It provides a darker view but at a distance the light of opportunity shines. This is not the end of the fight but rather the beginning, I may have lost the battle but war rages on.

CONFUSION

This event both unexpectedly ruined but also changed my life. It forced me to re-assess my whole self; with regards to my current projects & endeavors, work life, social life, spiritual life and the future.

JOY

I am overwhelmed with emotion, both positive and negative. I should be grateful for I had just experienced an opportunity of the lifetime. And all the experiences, the learnings, and bonds that I had created and built are forever locked into my consciousness and my heart. I now know that I am not happy but I am joyful for I am grateful with what I have, now is the time to pursue what I want and have no regrets!

See the Part 4 here
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