Self Talk to the PRESENT Me (Part2)~ Release, Renew and Rebirth.. - Lazy Investing Way

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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Self Talk to the PRESENT Me (Part2)~ Release, Renew and Rebirth..


Dear Vernon of the NOW,

Are you kidding me? WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF? Well, it just so happens that the people whom you have talked to helped you a lot but only YOU, no US can truly muster up that COURAGE to take that step forward! and Oh, by the way, blame this on MENTAL (season 1), that self-talk therapy gave US an inception effect that we decided to try out! And also you read a bunch of random articles online that this is a form of self therapy, so go figure!

Also, for my readers: This is the primary reason why I blog, to express myself :D and here's a quote for that~
"If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it. - Anais Nin"

Do I ever cross your mind? I wish you were here. But You're not. You're there. Does there know how lucky it is? I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you..
The photo and caption shown above clearly shows the state of my mind, and body for the last roughly 3months or so. I have always been a late bloomer, I do not know why but I have come to accept that part of me. It's not that I learn slow, I just choose to learn certain things and focus on that, before I move to another thing to learn. And I have been doing that for around 5 years now, It's like I'm addictive to accelerated learning.

The downside of this of course is being overwhelmed by information or worse, emotion. I'm used to information, but EMOTION? not that much; so what happens when one is overwhelmed with emotion? DISASTER!!! Disaster inwards, chaos, loss of control. I look fine on the outside, but on the inside it's a different story.

"I am the bone of my sword, Steel is my body and fire is my blood; I have created over a thousand blades; Unknown to Death, Nor known to Life; I have withstood pain to create many weapons; Yet, these hands will never hold anything, So as I pray, unlimited blade works." - Fate/Stay Night, Reality Marble

Remember when you were young, the one thing that your parents or adults fail to teach you is that how SAD life can be. Well, I have no right to complain, my problem doesn't even compares to the problems of those living in slums and those in despair. But now, I don't tell myself, I DON'T HAVE that right, but I realized, I DO have it. It's my right to be normal, to be human.

Note: What's the Issue? ~It's too long to type here and I'm sick of telling the story over and over again, just ask me in person or message me :D

In a way, GOD Slapped me in the face once again. I got what I prayed for, TO BE NORMAL, to feel normal, and experience what NORMAL people feel and to be honest, I was in despair for the 2nd time in my life. I have been battling the dictates of society all my life, to be judged or stereotyped at a glance or just point blank was something I despised. I mean, HOW CAN one KNOW ME with one glance? It was/is still ridiculous.

But now, I have learned and grown from my recent experience. To have experienced another round of accelerated learning. Take the stuff you missed in High School + College and compress it for 3 months? Are you kidding me? The good news, is that I am in the process of recovery, the whole month of June was the period of recovery be it through sharing, laag, self-treats and eat-outs.

There was a day within those months wherein you really cannot do anything despite your desire to help or be helped. I was uneasy, distracted ug uban pa. All I want is someone nga maminaw lang and I guess the perfect one to run to was indeed GOD.

Lessons Learned:
  • Don't focus on your problems, focus on the POSSIBILITIES! Everything is possible when you Believe
  • I learned the value of being ignorant and dumb, Ask dumb questions~you have everything to gain!
  • It is possible to make your own self you #1 Cheer Leader, it is the epitome of MOTIVATION!
  • Those who won't answer your call to action/arms when you need help are obviously parasites
  • I now further understand the meaning of friendship, of strengthening and severing bonds
  • Valuable data was gathered, necessary for understanding the Female Specie/psyche
  • No matter how bad things get, something good is out there, just over the horizon...
  • There are wolves dressed as sheep that are supposed to be your friends.
  • Perhaps it cannot be helped that sometimes, you will make an enemy
  • Someone's opinion of view, doesn't have to become your reality
  • I learned a lot about myself in these whole process.
  • God is good, all the time!
Frustrating Realizations:

You find the perfect LOVE, but in a WRONG TIME.
You find the PERFECT PERSON, but he/she is not in love with you
You find the PERFECT ONE, but you must be LOYAL TO SOMEONE ELSE
You got the PERFECT LOOKS, but NO ONE takes you seriously
You met the PERFECT PERSONALITY, but your bound to be JUST FRIENDS
You have the BRAINS, but have a FRAIL HEART
You find the COURAGE, but it's just TOO LATE
You're READY TO LOVE, but you don't know where to START.

To my awesome friends: My Friends are my PRIDE; true ones watch over, and build me up rather than pulling me down
‎"It is always sad to part with those whom you love but your companions will help you bear that sadness." - Erza Scarlet, Fairy Tail

I don't care about strong people. All I need is the power to be able to protect my comrades. So long as I have the strength to do that, I don't care if I'm weaker than everyone in the world! - Erza Scarlet, Fairy Tail

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ~ Leo Buscaglia


To the one who stole My HEART ♥~You may not care but it was the best moments of my life 
A person's feelings will inevitably change & fade away...our hearts are full of contradiction; there are things even warriors cannot protect - King Neptune, One Piece

Your hearts may not be ready in time, but there will come a time when the scars of our hearts will heal, and when that time comes, let us all dream, Together.. - Prince Fukaboshi, One Piece

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."- Woody Allen

To those wolves in sheep's clothing: When life makes you have to put up with mean & hateful people,Think of them as sandpaper.They may scratch you & Rub you the wrong way...But eventually - YOU end up smooth & polished. The sandpaper - Is just going to be worn out & ugly.

It's easy to judge and criticize, to make statements and not think about the people you hurt or whose reputation you destroy. It's easy to hate. It's so much harder to understand and accept. Sa madaling salita... mahirap maging matured and professional. Madali maging tao, mahirap magpakatao...-c/o Ate Ria Jose

Never give up when everything shatters into pieces. Never even lose hope when everybody turns their back on you. Remember, that life is not about being fair, its about surpassing the unfair reality by the grace of God.

SOME THINGS ARE JUST LEFT ALONE TO HAPPEN SO THAT IN THE END GOD WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO TEACH YOU A LESSON BUT ITS WITHIN THE PERSON TO SEE IT OR ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HE OR SHE HAVE DONE WRONG (shouting at myself~soo lame -_-)

Trying to whip up some positivity despite the disappointing state of my self esteem. Beat the bad vibes by making it work for you. Work harder (till you collapse!! let the drowning in work--begin!) and make them realize how to put a capital "E" in "effort." Lose yourself, work smart and chase after excellence then everything will just fall into place..

YOU EITHER WIN OR YOU LEARN, THERE IS NO LOSE...
There’s no greater joy than serving others, no greater inspiration than encouraging others & no greater gift than a selfless heart...must stop the urge to conform..surrender to God's Will. He will restore/enhance me, & my self-esteem!

Just put on an ear-plug/muff when you hear the screams of the haters. They’ll get tired soon. And one last thing, continue to make more mistakes! Faster!

Mistakes aren't made by locking your feelings away & holding back; They're made while wearing your heart on your sleeve! - Mavis, 1st Fairy Tail Guild Master

~FUNURABA!

To OUR SUCCESS,

--Iggy ΓΌ

3 comments:

  1. Yey! first one to comment! hahah i so like this post.. LIKE button was not working yesterday though.. i feel for you Mr. President --LOL i mean I so can relate.. people call it EMO. call it "drama". but this kind of stage is NORMAL. Phase of life. pacensya.. artistahin lang talaga heheh UP for this post!

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  2. CHAR ATE eheheh IKAW NA! ang bigating adviser ko! ahhaha

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  3. As I was reading between the lines, I can recall how a human's heart can reach to it's melting point. We all have stories to tell. Different, exotic, extraordinary but true. This entry simply awakens my soul who's been trying to be unconscious and invisible...

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